Staying motivated is hard, and it’s made even harder with a behavioral disorder.
I think in absolutes. I feel strongly, I love hard, and I believe in what I do when I’m doing it. My mind also changes regularly. My husband struggled with this when we first started dating, and I never understood why. It’s just always been the way I am. My boss recently said to me that I change my mind like the seasons, and I told him it’s a lot more frequent than that.
Cylothemia is a behavioral disorder that causes rapid mood changes that range from hypomania to mild depression. When I described this to my mom, we both reveled in the fact that it was so spot on to the symptoms that I’d been struggling with since adolescence.
Although the depression is hard, hypomania has its upsides as well as its downsides. The upside is that it can lead to productivity, creativity, and enjoyment. The downside is that it can lead to bad choices due to a lack of clear judgement. After having lived with this disorder for so long, I can better navigate the impulses.
Interestingly enough, my mom thought she was suffering from depression most of her life until one day she spent three hours maniacally cleaning her hot tub. When she told her doctor about it, and after they explored it more, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This article more clearly defines the differences between cyclothemia and bipolar disorder.
Staying Motivated with a Behavioral Disorder
The longer you read my blog, or know me, the more you’ll see an ebb and flow to my content and creativity. There are days when I am motivated, on top of the world, creating content, reading content, sharing on social media, and enjoying every part of the process. Then there are days that are completely opposite. I don’t want to write anything, interact with anything, and nothing creative is in my head. I know everyone goes through this type of thing, but the difference is in the absolute.
When I am in a hypomanic state the creativity is one that I feel will last forever. One day I’m thinking, I am going to start a blog, and start a business, and be able to quit my job in two years. The next day, I’m thinking about how I’m going to shut the blog down, what is the point of it anyway, I’m not going to get anywhere with it. Honestly if I don’t stay on top of it, the cycle can be exhausting. If I am taking care of myself, and staying attentive to my moods and outside factors that affect them, I can turn it all around.
How I’m Trying to Stay Afloat
After having kids, my anxiety worsened, as well as my depression. Now, two and a half years after having my daughter Lorelai I am feeling more like myself than I have in six years. I am getting more in touch with my creativity, I am in better shape, eating better, and really feeling like I can make sustainable change. One of the things that I’m using to keep myself on track is my bullet journal.
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily. ~ Zig ZiglarClick To Tweet
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